Memories of a Forgotten Mother
by AllRevvedUp00
Summary: A short story of what I imagined Ophelia's mother would be like. I set the story in the Victorian Era just so no one is confused!
1. Chapter 1

I remember the day she was born, the day my prayers were answered, the day she came into my life. My only daughter, Ophelia. She was so precious to me. For as long as I could remember I wanted to be the mother of a son and a daughter. Laertes was such a sweet child but I still prayed for a little girl. I desired to pass a piece of myself onto the world. I felt like I would never die in that sense.

It was the first warm day in April. I went for a walk in the castle gardens clutching to the front of my wool dress taking in every movement of my baby. I was so glad my husband Polonius was The Lord Chamberlain of Elsinore because it allowed our family to live within the castle. I always enjoyed walking through the gardens during the first days of spring. I loved seeing the little hints of new life. The sweet fragrance of lilacs, rain, and grass surrounded me; it was the epitome of spring. I stopped walking for a moment to soak in the warmth of the sun. Its heat felt so nice on my pale skin. I believed I was a flower facing toward the light. It was all so mesmerizing. I remember gently closing my eyes, still holding my belly, and fully immersing myself in the moment. Unfortunately I was brought out of my trance when Polonius called for me. His overgown flowed behind him, as he ran it exposed his hose which would normally be hidden by the gown.

"Claramonda! What are you doing out here by yourself? You should be inside resting, you know you could deliver at any moment."

Polonius always was the protective type. He was so worried about me. When we found out I was once again expectant he immediately had he rewrite my will. He was only looking out for our family, or so I thought. I simply smiled at him. "My lord, the baby just wanted to enjoy the beautiful day. She was so antsy being in the castle all winter she wanted to feel the sun."

Polonius sighed, out of admiration or annoyance I couldn't tell. "My dear, why must you call our baby 'she'? We don't know if you'll be delivering a boy or a girl."

I smiled again and held my belly tighter. "Polonius I know she's a girl. This baby feels different from when I was carrying Laertes. "

"But there are other causes for that, Claramonda."

It was definitely out of annoyance now. "A mother just knows these things, my lord." Polonius didn't argue with me after that. As much as I loved my unborn daughter I couldn't help but wonder if Polonius was just as excited as I was. He was so joyous after the birth of our son Laertes but it seemed as if Polonius would be disappointed if I delivered a baby girl. He has an opportunity to pass a bit of himself on with Laertes why shouldn't I be able to as well?

Just as that thought crossed my mind I fell to my knees and started groaning. My baby was coming and I could feel it. It was more painful than I remember it being with my first born. My blood seemed to have changed into daggers flowing faster and faster through my body. My breath was coming out in short ragged breaths. I felt so faint, so weak.

"Claramonda? Claramonda what's wrong?" Polonius shouted as he crouched down with me. He grasped my shoulders.

"The baby, the baby she's coming," I managed to say between gasps. All of a sudden my vision was shrouded in darkness. It was as if night had just fallen despite it being the early afternoon.

I remember waking up in a tremendous amount of pain with the castle's midwife on her knees at my feet. Even though I wasn't completely aware of what was going on I was able to hear her whisper.

"The baby might not survive, Claramonda might not survive. She's in too much pain."

The _baby_ might not _survive_? I couldn't let that happen to my child! I had taken the biggest step in my life and begun pushing even though I could barely stay awake. I kept repeating, 'I can do this, I can do this, I must do this' over and over in my head. But the pain was so much to bear. As quickly as I had started pushing I stopped and collapsed on the birthing chair. Just as I thought of giving up, I swore I felt her move. It felt like she sensed that I was having trouble and she was helping me. To this day I swear that she helped me. I found the strength and courage within myself to continue on and in almost no time I heard crying; the crying coming from my newborn baby.

"It's a girl!" the midwife said to me. A girl, a girl. I was the proud mother of a beautiful baby girl. That was all I could remember before the night once again covered my vision.

When I awoke I was in my bedchamber. A tray with jars full of chicken soup and sweetmeats was to my right and Polonius was standing to my left. The birth tray was no doubt from King Hamlet and Queen Gertrude, we couldn't afford such luxuries. My husband was my side with our daughter in his arms. I held out my arms to him in a wordless plea to hold my sweet child. She was even more beautiful than I imagined. She had eyes so blue it would make the sky envious and sweet little tufts of red hair.

"I told you she would be a girl," I said with a smile to my husband.

"Well…what are we going to name her?" Polonius asked. I knew he wouldn't say that I was right, he never did. I knew the perfect name for her, the perfect name for my little helper.

"Ophelia," I said while looking down at my angel with a smile.

I slowly opened my eyes; a ghost of a smile covered my face as the memory of Ophelia's birth crossed my mind. But I was brought back to the horrors of reality. The carrack vessel I was forced into came back into my view, it was so dark I could barely see my feet in front of me. The scent of fish and salt hurriedly filled my nostrils, it made my stomach churn. I remembered why I was here, why I was forced to board this dingy and soon to be abandoned to some God forsaken place. It was all to protect her. All to protect the most precious thing in my life. It was all for Ophelia.


	2. Chapter 2

I was so upset that I had come out of my trance I didn't want to think about the predicament I was in now. I just wanted to remember the life I had with her. I closed my eyes in hopes to trick my mind and be sent to another time.

The horrid scene of the ship soon melted away. The sweet smell of the Elsinore Forest rushed into my nostrils. The harsh sun was blocked by a canopy of trees; only a few golden streams of light shined through. The forest was full of life, birds crooning, bees buzzing, streams flowing. It was another beautiful July morning. Ophelia loved to take walks with me and play in the forest. She was entranced in this world which was so different from the one she knew within the castle walls. She was such an observant child. Everything about the forest entranced her. Every insect, every animal, every plant, it was a paradise for my young daughter. She had turned seven a few months ago. Her eyes were still the pretty sky blue from when she was born but her hair was much longer and maintained its rich, red color. It was worn loose under her black cap. Her hair bounced and waved as she ran. It was amazing that she could still run even though she was wearing her favorite gown, a full length burgundy color that laced up the front. I loved seeing Ophelia like this. She looked so free. She had no bounds holding her back.

"Come now, Ophelia it is time to return to the castle," I calmly said to my child. The look on her face was adorable yet heart-wrenching. She looked so defeated; it was as if I told her the worst news in the world. And I just might have, at least in her world.

"Alright, mother," she took my hand and we walked down the dirt path toward the castle gardens.

We appeared at the only gate that connected the forest and the garden together. They were else divided by a stone wall taller than I. Polonius and Laertes were at the gate waiting for us. However it really Polonius who was waiting for me, and he looked furious.

"Laertes, take your sister to the castle," Polonius spat out to our first born. "I must have a word with your mother."

Laertes nodded like a good little boy and took Ophelia's hand.

I watched my two children walk together before turning to Polonius. There was an anger seething in his eyes.

"Come with me, my love," Polonius said to me with false affections. He roughly grabbed me by the arm and led me behind the castle walls, we were hidden to all possible observers. "What were you thinking, Claramonda? She's is supposed to be inside practicing the penmanship that **you're** supposed to be teaching her!"

"My Lord, Ophelia was doing so well that I saw it fit to give her a small reward."

"She does not need a reward!" Polonius bellowed at me, "She needs to practice!"

"My Lord," I sternly said to him through bared teeth. I couldn't take the constant bitterness he expressed to our child. Polonius would never talk this way about Laertes, "Ophelia is my student and my daughter and I'll-"

"ENOUGH!" Polonius' strong hand swung across his body and landed against my cheek.

I spun and fell to the hard ground. I heard the noise of cloth tearing, it sounded like thunder clapping in the sky.

His same hand pointed a sturdy finger at me, "You DO NOT speak to me that way, Claramonda."

I couldn't believe my eyes, what was happening to my husband? He had become a monster. He'd been that way ever since Ophelia was born. I picked myself up from the cold earth, gathered my torn gown in my hands and ran toward Elsinore Castle. I ran as fast as my legs could possibly carry me. Sharp tears brimmed in the corners of my eyes my only thought was to get away from him.

My eyes snapped open again, the knots on my stomach grew tighter after that last memory. The rocking of the carrack didn't help my nausea. I felt so ill. Even now I couldn't believe what my husband did to me. Polonius was acting so different; he was no longer the same man I wed ten years ago. This man is a monster.


	3. Chapter 3

My heart ached so terribly after the previous memory. I could feel fresh hot tears building in the corners of my eyes. I hated the predicament I was in and I hated what became of my husband and I.

"Just one last memory," I said aloud to myself. I slowly shut my eyes and the ship once again began to change.

Elsinore Castle began to materialize around me. Beautiful stone walls reached for the sky, royal red rugs lined the floor, intricate tapestries hung from the walls. It was the most beautiful palace in all of Denmark. I am walking with Ophelia in the corridors finding our way outside to fetch my son, Laertes. He was outside playing with Prince Hamlet but needed to come back inside to finish his lesson. We approached the gateway and stepped out in the crisp, cool air. I couldn't understand why the boys insisted on playing outside. It was late October after all. It didn't take me long to find the two young boys sword fighting with make-shift wooden swords. I didn't want to cease their duel, but Polonius would be furious if Laertes didn't finish his schoolwork. Ophelia took my hand as we approached the two boys.

"Leartes," I called to my first born, "It is time to come inside. You still haven't finished today's lesson."

Laertes halted his lunge and looked toward my direction, "Yes, mother." He didn't pout or look upset like Ophelia would if I said such things to her. "I'm sorry, Hamlet we will have to finish tomorrow," Laertes said to his best friend. Both Hamlet and Laertes were the same age, ten years old, but Laertes was well behaved while Hamlet could be rambunctious. I'm not just saying that because Laertes is my son, I'm saying it because it's the truth.

Hamlet shared the same defeated look Ophelia would wear when I said similar things to her. I wondered if she learned that from him. "Ok Laertes, tomorrow we shall finish!"

Laertes walked to my left side and my children and I turned for the castle. A gust of wind picked up, hindering my ability to open the castle door. It was almost as if the wind was refusing to let us enter. Eventually the door opened and allowed Laertes, Ophelia, and I to go inside. We traversed the maze of hallways in the castle toward our family's rooms. We passed the throne room on our way and I swore I could hear voices in there. 'That's odd,' I thought to myself, 'It's almost always vacant in there.' As I listened carefully I could distinguish the voices Polonius was speaking with King Hamlet.

"Your majesty, please I'm begging you. Something needs to be done about her! I'm losing control over the situation."

Polonius? Losing control over me? What on Earth was he talking about? "Laertes, take Ophelia and go on ahead to your chambers. I'll be in there shortly," I whispered.

My daughter looked at me with innocent doe eyes. "Mother, I want to stay with you," she said to me with hurt lingering on her face.

"Don't worry, Ophelia, your brother is with you. He will always protect you when I'm not around." Laertes took Ophelia's hand and they walked ahead like good children while I continued to eavesdrop on Polonius and King Hamlet's conversation. I peeked through the space between the throne room doors and watched the two men.

"Polonius, Claramonda will do as she pleases but she is harmless. There's no proof that she is a danger to anyone."

"But your majesty there is proof! The other day I saw her allow your son to play in Elsinore forest. She didn't stop him from leaving the castle grounds AND she didn't follow him in there to ensure his safety."

A lie, a lie, Polonius lied. I haven't had any contact with Prince Hamlet in weeks other than this afternoon. I would never do such a thing to any child let alone the future King of Denmark.

King Hamlet's face turned an ugly plum color filled with rage. "How DARE she endanger my son this way!"

I immediately pulled my hand over my mouth to prevent my gasp from being heard.

Polonius spoke again. "This isn't the first occasion she has left the prince unattended. Her negligence is a threat to your son and my children."

"Polonius, leave everything to me; I will make the arrangements. She will be gone tomorrow night."

I felt dizzy, so dizzy I couldn't believe what was happening to me. My husband stood there and smiled at the King and thanked him. He thanked him! Why does Polonius want me banished from his life? Banished from Denmark? Banished? I ran, I ran as fast as I possibly could to get to my children. A whirlwind of questions continued to flood in my mind as I tried to make sense of what came about. After what seemed like an eternity of running I finally reached the familiar doors of my son's chambers. I wasn't thinking clearly and I burst into the room frightening my children. Ophelia and Laertes were sitting next to each other on the bed.

Ophelia was clutching onto her brother because she was so startled. "Mother, what's wrong?"

That was the last thing I wanted, they couldn't really know what was going on. I never lied to my children, but it would be easier for them if they did not know the truth. "It is alright, Ophelia," I said to my babe as I walked to her with open arms. I embraced both of my children, Ophelia clutched onto my back with her graceful little hand while Laertes held my back with his strong grip. I needed to act like nothing was wrong. "Come now, Laertes, let's finish your lesson," I said to him as I reluctantly pulled away from them.

Laertes and I walked toward the calligraphy desk in the corner of the room. It faced toward the window which looked over the castle gardens and Elsinore forest. He sat down and continued to work on his lesson. I stood behind him and observed his progress while Ophelia stood by my side and hugged my waist. It took so much effort and energy not to burst into tears at that point. I took in a deep breath and looked down at her and smiled, my hand grazing over her shoulder blades in an attempt to let her know everything was alright.

Just as I calmed Ophelia, my traitorous husband entered our children's chamber.

"Claramonda, will you accompany me to our chambers?" He said to me with an innocent tone.

I stared at him darkly. I could no longer trust this man; yet I wanted to know why he was acting this way. I kept up my façade for the sake of my children. "Of course, my lord. Laertes, continue your lesson. I shall return."

Polonius approached the door to our chamber and opened it; he entered first. It was sad he will not hold doors open for me anymore. But I wouldn't let him walk behind me anyway. I did not trust what he would do with my back turned to him. I slammed the door behind me and spoke immediately. "Why? Polonius, why are you doing this? Why did you lie to the King? Why?" I was hysterical. Hot tears burned as they fell down my cheeks. My fists were clenched and my body tensed. I needed an answer.

Despite my appearance Polonius remained calm. "Claramonda, I'm losing control over you."

My breath hitched out of confusion and fear. "What does that even mean? What are you talking about?"

"You're ignoring your responsibilities as a mother, as a wife, as the wife of The Lord Chamberlain. You need to remember your place in this hierarchy. You are to teach the children their lessons and keep them behaved. You are not to reward them until they finished their lessons. You are not to let them play in Elsinore forest. Just because you're without a care does not mean I want my children to be that way. You need to enforce the rules! Be more assertive! You're a terrible mother, Claramonda! "

I felt something inside of me break when he said that. I swiftly sung my open palm against his cheek. "Polonius, never lecture me on how to treat my children," I hissed at him.

He stared at me with a cold, hard look on his face. "You will regret that," was all he said before he stomped out of the room.

The banging sound that resulted from the door smashing shut caused me to fall to my knees. What was I doing to do? I stood back up and paced across the room. Should I talk with Queen Gertrude? No, the King had already made up his mind. He never changed his mind after making a decision, even if his wife tried talking with him. Polonius would most likely tell more lies to get his way. I could take Ophelia and Laertes and flee Denmark. But what land would possibly welcome a wife who's left her husband with her children? There is no such land. My only hope couldn't be to accept my fate. There must be another way. I needed to think of a solution and quickly. At this moment there was only one thing I was sure of. I needed to say goodbye to my children. I didn't know what could happen to me.

Night had fallen in the kingdom, shadows made new homes throughout the walls and floors and an uncomfortable silence filled the air. I carefully navigated the halls to find my children's chambers. I tried to stay out of the light cast from the wall torches so I would not be seen. I refused to be captured before I saw my babes one last time. The darkness provided a veil to conceal my being. I reached the large oak doors of their chamber and carefully slipped inside. I made my way across the room to the bed. As I approached the bed I cautiously drew the wool curtains and revealed my peacefully sleeping children. They looked like little angels descended from heaven, innocent and pure. I sat on the bench beside the bed. I knew exactly what I wanted to say to them; I spent the better part of the day planning it. I reached out and brushed Laertes' dark hair with my fingertips, "Oh, Laertes…you've become a fine young man. I'm so proud of you…continue to make me proud though I won't be with you." My eyes turned to gaze upon Ophelia's sleeping form, "And Ophelia you're a blessing to this family. Don't let anyone tell you differently." I gently stroked her warm cheek and looked at my son. "You two are very precious to me, look out for each other." Soft tears cascaded from my cheeks as I spoke the words I never thought I'd say to them, "Good-bye."

Although I stopped crying once I left their chamber the remnants of tears left scarring streaks on my cheeks. I walked back to my chamber with my head hung. I didn't even bother to dodge the torches this time. I followed the burgundy rug to the tall doors of the room I shared with my husband. I opened the door and slowly stepped inside. When I finally lifted my head I witnessed both King Hamlet and Polonius in the room. I didn't have time to react because guards surrounded me and grabbed my feeble arms. I made an attempt to break free from their grasp but to no avail.

King Hamlet was the first to speak to me, "Claramonda, your carelessness has put the life of my son, your future King, in danger." His voice was sharp and flowing with anger "Polonius has spoken with me about your behavior and I cannot allow it in my kingdom. From this day you are hereby banished from Denmark. There is a carrack waiting for you in the harbor, it will take to your new residence."

I could not believe my ears, even though I expected this from listening to King Hamlet and Polonius' conversation earlier it only seemed real to me now. My conversation with Polonius had made him more anxious to be rid of me. "And if I refuse?" I spat out to the King. I've never acted so disrespectful to his majesty before yet I wasn't concerned with my actions.

"Then I kill Ophelia," Polonius said with an uncharacteristically calm tone.

My husband, my husband was threatening me with murdering his daughter, our daughter! He'd gone mad! How could he have claimed to do such a horrible thing to our child? And yet I knew. He was aware that my love for Ophelia was my weakness. A weakness he could use to his advantage. If he were to mention to do anything remotely harmful to my daughter, he knew I would give in to his demands. And I did. "Fine…I'll to the harbor," I spoke with a crushed tone. Polonius had won. I didn't know how I could have been so blind. How couldn't I have seen this coming? Polonius was always so controlling. He'd always find ways to get what he wanted, whether it was just or not.

An unforgiveable chilling wind broke me from my state. The cool crisp sensation of winter encased my body. I opened my heavy eyelids to a tan and white stone fortress. Two of the guards that accompanied me were at my side, just how Ophelia and Laertes used to stand by me. They looked ahead with unemotional expressions on their faces. I looked with them.

"Where am I?" I asked to neither of them in particular.

"The Tower," I heard one of them answer.

The Tower, I'd heard of this place before. This is where Polonius sent me. This is where I will be killed.

"Let's go, madam," the same guard said.

I took in a deep breath. My role as a protector has ended. I was willing to die to keep her safe, to keep the most precious thing in my life alive. "It was all for you, Ophelia," I whispered to myself as we walked into the place I'd never be able to leave.


End file.
